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A native of Saint Louis, MO., Karen has lived in the Philadelphia area since 1982 with her two children and her husband. After graduating in 1980 from the University of Illinois at Chicago with her Masters in Social Work, she began her practice as a psychotherapist, specializing in women's issues. In 1988 she founded The Postpartum Stress Center where she provides treatment for prenatal and postpartum depression and anxiety.

In addition to her clinical practice, Karen provides training and inservices for healthcare professionals as well as consultation and supervision to therapists. She frequently lectures and continues to write on the topic of postpartum adjustment. Her work has been featured in local and national magazines, numberous radio shows, local and national television shows, "Inside Edition", The Oprah Winfrey Show and NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw.

Currently, Karen is affiliated with a number of on-line sites, where she writes articles, facilitates support chats and addresses concerns of postpartum and pregnant women. In addition to her work at The Postpartum Stress Center , Karen maintains a general private practice where she treats individuals, couples and families:

"...Women are rarely informed about the range of emotions that can develop after the birth of their baby. When they experience difficulty, they are often silenced by well-intentioned healthcare providers or family members: 'all mothers experience this,' or 'this is normal,' or 'you'll feel better if you get out of the house,' or 'find a hobby.' This advice doesn't work. In fact, it can make her feel worse, misunderstood and isolated. As her usual coping skills diminish, and her feelings of shame and guilt abound, her depression deepens."

Karen explains, "It is this scenario that has compelled me to do the work I do. To reassure mothers that they are they not alone, that there is help available and contrary to what they may think, they do NOT have to continue to feel hopeless and sad. We live in a society that does not make it easy to admit that being a mother sometimes doesn't feel so good. Sometimes, it's hard, it's exhausting, it's overwhelming and it's just not always what we feel like doing. And even in the absence of a clinical depression, motherhood can challenge a woman in a way she has not previously known. Women need a private place they can go to talk, to cry, to be angry, to be by themselves, to rediscover who they are, what they need and how they can get it. A place where they are safe to disclose their most secret and painful thoughts. A place where they no longer have to prove how strong they are, how perfect they are, how in control they are. A place where they can reclaim their lost self and find the courage to explore where they are and where they would like to go from this point forward. The Postpartum Stress Center offers them this opportunity."

Experts:
To Trust or not to Trust?

I'm not saying my parents did a horrible job raising us. It could have been a lot worse. After all, none of us spent much time in reform school, and only one of us was actually convicted of a felony.

Still, I knew in my heart I could do a better job. I knew what not to do (anything they did). I just didn't know what to do.

So, I decided to consult the experts. The day after that positive pregnancy test I went out and bought 50 parenting books. Over the years, they've helped - in a way.

Take sleeping. There I was, six months after my Bradley-Lamaze, all-natural childbirth turned C-section, with a baby that still woke up every hour on the hour. I'd nurse him to sleep, gently lay him in his crib, then just as I drifted back to sleep he'd scream again.

Dr. Spock ( Baby and Child Care ) has a paragraph that says let the kid cry. Dr. Ferber ( Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems ) wrote a whole book saying basically the same thing: Comfort him, but be firm. They claim he'd stop after a few nights. But he didn't.

The sound of his screams made my down-stairs neighbor bang on my ceiling with a broomstick and made me feel like a monster.

I begged my friends to find me a new expert, a better solution. "Not to worry," Cindy assured. "Here's Nighttime Parenting , by Dr. William Sears. He says to take the baby into your bed."

That worked like a charm. I slept right through his nursing sessions and so did the neighbors. I also saved a lot of money on birth control as hubby had a hard time getting close to me.

Once the baby started talking back it was time to learn how to discipline. Dr. Spock says not to spank, but that it's "better than lengthy disapproval." Gee, I remember being spanked, and given my druthers I'd take lengthy disapproval any day.

Dr. Eda LeShan ( When Your Child Drives You Crazy ) says not to spank no matter what, but in the next sentence admits that she, herself, lost it a few times and whacked her kid. Ah, a book written by a real mother, someone who actually raised a child.

Dr. Haim Ginott ( Between Parent and Child ) provides us with this gem: Say your kid's teacher spanks him. (Which is illegal in only half the US states.) Instead of saying, "What did you do to deserve it?" (my parent's line of choice) you say, "It was a bad day for you."

A bad day my foot! When I enrolled my son at a private boy's school I heard rumors that the teachers hit the kids. I told my son, "If the teacher ever touches you, you walk out the door, you come home and you tell me.

"Then I go down there, I grab him and I beat him black and blue. Got it?!"

My sister said I was wrong. "You sue," she said calmly. Easy for her to say, she's a lawyer.

Take allowances. Dr. Rudolph Dreikurs ( Children: The Challenge ) says give kids an allowance and don't pay them for chores. Ginott agrees.

However, Dr. Raymond Moore ( Better Late than Early ) states emphatically (exclamation point his), "No cash allowances!" Instead, pay them for chores.

Both approaches are well and good, but who has money to give away for chores or an allowance? When I was a kid we were too poor for either method. Now that my parents have inherited a bit of wealth I've discovered that money, like twins and blue eyes, skips a generation.

All four of my kids have trust funds, stocks and mutual funds thanks to Grandpa and Grandma. I, on the other hand, have yet to see a dime.

I'm living hand to mouth, breaking my neck to keep them in Nikes. So when they ask me for an allowance I just snarl. The day my parents give me an allowance is the day I'll give one to them. In the meantime they can work for a living, like I did, or they can take it out of their trust funds.

I guess the best thing these experts have done for me is shown me that I'm the only true expert on my children. Their theories are all very nice, but if they're not willing to come clean the spaghetti off my wall, they shouldn't tell me how to discipline while eating pasta .

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The hardships of being a Mon to a Special needs child                              

Being a mom is tough. Being a single mom is even tougher. Being a single mom to a special needs child is the toughest experience some women will have in their life. Every mom to a child with special needs struggles day to day and each mom struggles in different areas of their life with their child. Most of these moms deal with the same issues but at different times in their lives.

Newer moms struggle with the question of why did this have to happen to their child. Some moms harbor their grief for years while others move on and accept the new role that has been placed on them.

Moms of babies and toddlers struggle to find appropriate specialists to meet the needs of their child. Then they must struggle with these specialists to recommend the proper services and therapies to meet these same needs. This can be an ongoing battle as the child grows older and requires more or fewer services.

Moms of school age children struggle with finding the best schools for their child to attend. While the child attends school they fight with the school system for the rights of their child to see to it they get the best education that will suit the needs of their child.

Then there are the universal struggles that most moms deal with including: financial security; siblings: coordinating of doctors visits, therapists, and respite care; the father's involvement, or lack of involvement in the child's life; managing housekeeping. Making sure their children are happy while sacrificing their own happiness is common.

There is also the struggle of when there are siblings of the special needs child. Trying to meet their emotional needs as well as fostering growth is a major struggle, there just aren't enough hands or hours in a day to get everything done for everyone.

The one major struggle that runs through the mind of every mom in this situation is: not enough time. Always on the go with so much to do and everything centered on their child, moms have little time to do anything for themselves. There are just never enough hours in one day to juggle all the therapy sessions, doctors' visits, trips to the Emergency Room, washing clothes, making 3 meals a day, washing dishes, and the list goes on and on.

Moms of special needs children struggle each and every day with one thing or another and if you asked these moms, if they would trade their struggles for anything and the answer would always be no! These struggles enrich their fierce love for their child, and it makes them very strong. 

At this time in my journey of special needs parenting, my major struggle is adapting to my son's size. He is 6.5 years old and almost 60 pounds; that's a big boy! He's not portable anymore. Carrying him at all is out of the question! I am thankful he can crawl room to room which is a great help to me. However he is getting a bit too heavy to lift. The next struggle is working with the appropriate therapists in aquiring special equipment that would facilitate daily living. The professionals reccomend hired help, but when the hired help has problems lifting the child as well it gets frustrating. In the end we make do with what we've got and make the most of everything else. We are managing at the moment, but I don't know how much longer we will be able to, perhaps one year or two. Then we will see where our journey takes us