Pregnancy Home>Being a Mom

Many women will tell you that have always dreamed of being mothers. They can tell you how they spent all of their youth mothering dolls, other children, and pets. Other women, myself included, never dreamed that they would be mothers. They may have had no idea what the future held, or they may have planned for careers and education. No matter what type of planning went into becoming a mother, there we all are, in one group. We have many similarities but even more differences. Here several mothers give you their ideas on what it means to become a mother and live this adventure. When does one become a mother? Is it the moment of conception? The first time you hear your baby's heart beat? When you hold your small miracle for the first time? "I had my first maternal feeling driving home from the lab after having my pregnancy test. I was so excited and wanting to race home to share the news. I realized I was driving too fast and didn't have my seat belt on. It was a strange feeling, but great!" - Leah, mother of 2 year old Ainsley "My first son died when he was four months old. Mother's day followed two months later and I remember feeling like a mother, but being fearful that no one else saw me that way. When all of the mothers were called up for a special blessing in church that day, everyone was urging me to step forward. It felt really good to be recognized as a mother." - Amanda, mother to Adam, 3 year old Angela, and baby-to-be 10/2/99 "I think I was in shock during the whole pregnancy. I was excited about the baby, but just found it so hard to believe. They handed me the baby and I still didn't feel connected right away. That night he was crying in the bassinet and I felt overwhelmed with emotions. After 9 months it finally sunk in, 'I was a mommy!'" - Sally, mother to two year old Trey and 6 month old Abbey What does it mean to be a mother? Do these creatures come with any instructions? "I had to do so much! I had never realized how hard it was to be everything for such a tiny creature. It was very demanding and at first I felt under prepared and useless. Then she started being able to respond and I felt that the hard work and long days were really worth it." - Tracey, mommy to 3 month old Sara "Thank goodness my partner was from a large family. He knew all of the baby care tricks and really helped me figure out the best way for me to mother. Now I have a lot more confidence in myself." - Lorri, mother to 5 month old Freda "Jason was born and they gave me a booklet. I tried to memorize it, I tried the techniques. Finally decided that I needed to listen to him, but the book makes a great coaster!" - Sylvia, mommy to 7 month old Timmy How does giving birth affect you? Does adding a new little one create as much havoc as everyone says? "I felt so totally amazed at myself after giving birth. It was so hard and yet very rewarding. I think it really helped me during those long nights of being a new parent. If I could do labor, I certainly could stand a bit of sleep deprivation!" - Lee, mother to 4 year old Sam and 2 month old Sarah "Giving birth was hard work. I sort of knew that part, but once I got home with a new baby I realized how under prepared I was for postpartum. My advice, remember that the birth is the beginning not the end..." - Julie, mom to 6 year old Theodore, 4 year old Tricia, and newborn Travis "Everyone said, expect to lose sleep, so I expected it. But the things that really changed are so slight and odd that no one could prepare you. I love it!" - Jackie, mom to 3 week old Annalyse "I've learned I have a lot of strengths I didn't know I had! My husband thinks I'm the most powerful woman on earth!" - Debby, mother to 4 week old Susie, 3 year old Todd, and 5 year old Sam Celebrate your motherhood today, and everyday!

Growing up, I didn't think much about what it takes to be a mother or a mom. I didn't even know there was a difference, but I quickly learned that there is. To be a mother, all one has to do is get pregnant and give birth. Being a mom entails much more.

As a teenager, I was ready to do anything to escape from home. I was a desperate young girl who had no idea what real love was. I clung to anyone who showed me affection. Being a victim of incest, sex was something I feared, yet I naively believed it was a means to get the attention I craved. As a result, at the age of seventeen, I discovered that I was pregnant.

In March of 1968, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I had no inkling of how hard it would be to take care of a baby without any support, but I was determined to be the best mom I could be. In spite of colic, dirty diapers, sleepless nights and my formula stained wardrobe, this little boy brought me much joy. For the first time in my life, someone needed me. He relied on me for everything, and in return, he gave me a sense of what real love was. He taught me about patience and self-sacrifice, and he taught me about choosing priorities.

By the time I was thirty, I had three more children, each one just as special as the first, but with one son and three daughters, I had my hands full. I learned to cook creatively. I learned how to mediate fairly during arguments or downright battles. I learned that giving children things was never as important as giving them time and love.

By thirty six, I had been married and divorced twice, and had moved so many times I lost count. My first born was now almost eighteen. Those years were never easy. I had no healthy role models to fashion my own mothering skills after, so I guess you could say that I had on-the-job-training. I made some mistakes, but I did the best I could, in spite of my own personal battles. Looking back, I know that I took good care of my children. I was an active and loving mom who participated in her children's lives.

I taught them their A, B, C's, numbers and colors, and their manners. I read bedtime stories and said their prayers with them at night. I kissed boo boos, wiped away tears and gave each one many, many hugs. We played together, went for walks in the woods, went on picnics and grand adventures together. One of our favorite activities was wading in the creek. We'd skip flatrocks and walk as far down stream as we could searching for treasure. The girls and I would pick wildflowers while my son searched for crabs or toads, or just picked on his sisters.

Mom, Are You Stressed, Feel Like You're Losing Your Mind and Just Want Some Normalcy Back in Your Life?

I Love Being a Mom is here to help you destress and make being a mommy one of the most rewarding things in your Life. We want our mommies to be elated with being a mommy. We will help you make meal time easier on you and have your children actually enjoy the meail. Moms need time outs from being a mom. We will show you how to create your very own "me time." Children develop in different stages and not every child is the same. Our information will provide you tips on how to deal with child development, and walking you through your baby's first year.

Our children totally depend on us for them to have a good safe unbringing. We know personally there can be bumps in the road on that wonderful journey of motherhood. That is why I wanted to start this online parent center to have one place for moms to come to for advice and wealthy information.

Being Thankful For My Single Mom  

am so tired of seeing discussions categorizing some Silicon Valley moms as the "haves" and comparing them to the "have nots". I am a minivan driving WAHM with kids and a hubby. We have a house, but not lots of extra change to throw around. And I have a babysitter come in twice a week. Am I a "have"?  Anyone superficially looking at a mom can categorize them as a have or have not - but they may miss one important thing: " the childhood behind the mom " .

I don't talk about my childhood often, well - because it was hard! But if asked, I can't say enough good things about my single mom, who is the best role model any child could ask for. I also don't talk about it because it may seem melodramatic... < start promo for Hallmark afterschool special >.  I had two loving but struggling parents who divorced when I was young. My Dad was starting out in his career so when they divorced my mom had to get a full time job and my brother and I went into daycare. I remember hiding in a cubby the first couple of days I went into daycare. I remember being on food stamps at one point... I remember being tired of living in a small apartment.. We came out to California from the East Coast for my parents to try to work on their marriage - but that did not work.

So I did back and forth weekend trips to see my Dad from middle school throughout highschool. I remember seeing the

kids in highschool that already had all types of private lessons, luxurious family vacations, white picket fence and parents that were still married - and I felt like a 'have not". But through it all (here comes the melodramatic part) I knew my parents loved and believed in me . And looking back, that was THE MOST IMPORTANT thing my parents did for me.

I came into college with a drive to succeed that some students did not have.  I knew that if I had to support myself during and out of college so I was going to work my arse off to make it happen. And I did.

Even thinking back to going into daycare at a young age (then full day preschool), I see it gave me the foundations for strong social skills that helped me throughout my life. In daycare/preschool, you don't always have someone standing right there to help you resolve issues, so I learned to do it on my own. 

As a young girl, I did not have one of those moms who had fresh cookies waiting for me afterschool and ready to drive me to a plethora of afterschool activities, I had a tired mom that worked all day and took care of her kids at night. So my brother and I helped out with the house and did many things for ourselves. And instead of afterschool activities I spent more time in highschool with afterschool jobs. I remember even attempting to cook dinners like a hamburger casserole that came out very greasy but still tasted great. Or how we treasured once a year trips to San Francisco to see a show and have brunch. Looking back, I learned great life skills from seeing my mom overcoming many obstacles to keep our family going. We became very close from that, and to this day have strong relationships with each other. And now being a mom myself, I have used that inner strength many times to overcome my own obstacles.

 

The hardships of being a Mom to a Special needs child                              

Being a mom is tough. Being a single mom is even tougher. Being a single mom to a special needs child is the toughest experience some women will have in their life. Every mom to a child with special needs struggles day to day and each mom struggles in different areas of their life with their child. Most of these moms deal with the same issues but at different times in their lives.

Newer moms struggle with the question of why did this have to happen to their child. Some moms harbor their grief for years while others move on and accept the new role that has been placed on them.

Moms of babies and toddlers struggle to find appropriate specialists to meet the needs of their child. Then they must struggle with these specialists to recommend the proper services and therapies to meet these same needs. This can be an ongoing battle as the child grows older and requires more or fewer services.

Moms of school age children struggle with finding the best schools for their child to attend. While the child attends school they fight with the school system for the rights of their child to see to it they get the best education that will suit the needs of their child.

Then there are the universal struggles that most moms deal with including: financial security; siblings: coordinating of doctors visits, therapists, and respite care; the father's involvement, or lack of involvement in the child's life; managing housekeeping. Making sure their children are happy while sacrificing their own happiness is common.

There is also the struggle of when there are siblings of the special needs child. Trying to meet their emotional needs as well as fostering growth is a major struggle, there just aren't enough hands or hours in a day to get everything done for everyone.

The one major struggle that runs through the mind of every mom in this situation is: not enough time. Always on the go with so much to do and everything centered on their child, moms have little time to do anything for themselves. There are just never enough hours in one day to juggle all the therapy sessions, doctors' visits, trips to the Emergency Room, washing clothes, making 3 meals a day, washing dishes, and the list goes on and on.

Moms of special needs children struggle each and every day with one thing or another and if you asked these moms, if they would trade their struggles for anything and the answer would always be no! These struggles enrich their fierce love for their child, and it makes them very strong. 

At this time in my journey of special needs parenting, my major struggle is adapting to my son's size. He is 6.5 years old and almost 60 pounds; that's a big boy! He's not portable anymore. Carrying him at all is out of the question! I am thankful he can crawl room to room which is a great help to me. However he is getting a bit too heavy to lift. The next struggle is working with the appropriate therapists in aquiring special equipment that would facilitate daily living. The professionals reccomend hired help, but when the hired help has problems lifting the child as well it gets frustrating. In the end we make do with what we've got and make the most of everything else. We are managing at the moment, but I don't know how much longer we will be able to, perhaps one year or two. Then we will see where our journey takes us